I just saw this...
...and right now, today, I needed to hear it. I know I'm not alone. Sometimes life just gets to be too much. Either our work life is stressful or our home life is stressful. Financial situations. Physical ailments. The list is endless.
I've been struggling for the past 3+ weeks with excruciating back pain. Not just the annoying little kink when you wake up having slept funny, but the hurts-to-breathe, catch-your-breath-with-every-movement, can't-get-away-from-it-no-matter-what-you-do kind of pain.
It started with a migraine on a Thursday morning, causing me to miss work that day to nurse my aching head...it think I was out of bed for 45 minutes that day. The next morning, my back was so painful, and I had no idea what was going on. I made an appointment with my chiropractor, who is amazing...she got me in that day. I spent 30 minutes with her, and left still in pain. No relief at all. Enter the muscle relaxers and ice packs.
I started that week seeing an acupuncturist, hoping that she would be able to help. I've seen her 4 times so far, and I'm still suffering. More muscle relaxers and ice packs.
I saw my doctor and got x-rays. Nothing new in the images compared to my films from 12 years ago. More muscle relaxers and ice packs.
I'll admit that my day-to-day life, while hectic, is often very sedentary. I sit at a desk for 8 hours per day. I drive to and from work. Finding time to exercise, especially in winter when the weather is always a wildcard, is nearly impossible. I get home in time to make dinner (most often a collaborative effort between Shannon and I), then have a few minutes to sit around before it's time to get the bedtime routine underway.
The past few weeks, so much of the "at home" stuff has fallen to Shannon - I just don't have it in me. I jokingly tell people that I'm surviving on muscle relaxers, but the truth is, that's exactly what I'm doing. I have to move slowly, very intentionally, and forget about lifting...my purse is often too heavy for me. Sleeping is hard, tossing and turning to find the most comfortable position...for a minute, before I have to shift again.
I am, quite literally, using all of my energy to just survive.
Shannon, I love you. Thank you for taking care of me and our family while I'm not able to contribute. Thank you for being patient and understanding. Thank you for supporting my ice pack habit. Thank you for not complaining that it's too much...I know it is, but thank you for not saying so.
There ya go...my moment of "real." Still no end in sight, but I'm surviving.
In true internet fashion, we (I) often share only the parts of life that I'm excited about or proud of...but these moments are just as, if not more, real. And if you're reading this...well, thank you for that too. I see you. I know. You're doing great.
No comments:
Post a Comment